A man who ended up in Newry’s Daisy Hill Hospital after attempting to take his own life has had the “opportunity of a lifetime” given to him after striking up a conversation with a well-meaning fellow patient in the hospital waiting room.
The young man – known only by his first name, Bernard to help protect his identity – has had an incredibly challenging four-and-a-half years but his chance encounter with Newry man Chris McEvoy is set to change all that.
On Friday (July 11), everything came to a head. After almost jumping from a bridge, Bernard says the police brought him to Daisy Hill to seek mental health support.
After many hours waiting, the sun came up on Saturday and Chris – who was seeking treatment for sciatica – sat down on the seat beside Bernard in the waiting room.
Being chatty and personable, Chris struck up a conversation with the young man beside him and soon… the details of Bernard’s dire situation came to light.
Since then, Chris has committed himself to helping Bernard turn his life around and the pair attended Armagh I‘s office on Tuesday to explain their new-found friendship.
Said Chris: “That day I met Bernard, I had the best day’s craic in my life.
“He told me what he had been going through and I knew he hadn’t got anything so I bought him a juice and a sandwich for lunch. Then he put half of the sandwich away and I said, ‘What are you doing?’ and he said he was putting half away for later and my heart just broke.
“That was it. I had to do something. He never asked me for anything but I knew I had to help. Everyone needs a little help at some stage. It could happen to anyone and I just knew straight away he was such a genuine guy.”
While they were exchanging stories and getting to know one another, Bernard, Chris says, became “frustrated” with the wait and having to “go over and over” his situation. He tried to leave… but Chris pleaded with him to stay.
They exchanged numbers in case they should be separated after receiving treatment and sure enough when Chris returned to the waiting room after seeing a doctor, Bernard was gone.
Immediately, he rang his new friend to find out where he was. Bernard replied to say he was in the “shed”.
For the last year or so, Bernard has been living off and on in what he calls a “shed” but describes as a derelict building that he knew would give him shelter if he found himself without a proper roof over his head.
While living in the shed he describes unthinkable conditions where on one occasion he woke in the night with what he thought initially was a “dream that someone was touching me” then he felt like his finger was “on fire” only to find that a rat had “stuck it’s claw” into it and had to be violently shook off leaving him bleeding and in severe pain.
Said Bernard: “I actually thought the rat was chewing through my finger!”
When asked how he came to be in such a difficult and sad situation, Bernard was candid in explaining his past.
“I just started drinking more and more and more,” he said. “Then I just sort of gave up my job and then gave up my house. That was four years ago and things just snowballed. My Dad also died four years ago.
“I tried to get help and go here and there, but I find it hard to just sit here as it is. I always feel like I just need out of here.”
Having had his own personal struggles in the past, Chris is a firm believer that everyone needs a helping hand from time-to-time.
He collected Bernard from the shed and brought him to his own home in Newry which he shares with his wife and children – all who have been very supportive.
As a result of giving up his home, the bulk of Bernard’s belongings are scattered around various friends’ houses where he has stayed for periods of time in the last four years. He has very little in his possession, but Chris is working to change that.
After making an online appeal via social media, Chris has managed to secure clothing for Bernard with one boutique shop owner even contacting Chris to say Bernard could come down and choose “whatever he wants, for free!”
He says the public support has been overwhelming and adds, “Some people are so genuine and so kind.”
But the most pressing issue for both Chris and Bernard, is to find the man a place of his own.
Bernard explained to Armagh I, that he has tried to get housing himself but when he spoke with property agents they have insisted on references from previous landlords. But he explains that has been out of renting so long he no longer has details for his previous landlords and cannot provide the required references.
He says he has also been on the Housing Executive waiting list for approximately a year.
Not fussy, he said he could live anywhere that’s “handy for buses”. Ideally, he would like to be in a house-share situation with others to help make the rent more affordable.
In the long term he would like to return to work in hospitality but said he’s “just not ready” at the minute. Acknowledging the need for “baby steps”, Chris said “We need to build this man up. It’s a step at a time. Let’s get him somewhere to stay and I’ll stay in contact and we’ll take a bit at a time.”
In the course of writing this article, Chris remained in touch to say that Bernard had possibly secured temporary accommodation through the Simon Community, however, this has not yet come to fruition and he says the housing situation is “dead in the water”.
While Chris is happy to house Bernard as long as is necessary, he’s acutely aware that Bernard needs and wants his own space – viewing himself as a burden on Chris and his family despite Chris insisting that “you need to take the help when it’s being offered. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime!”
To help, Chris has also set up a GoFundMe page – which has already raised over £1,000 – for Bernard and is appealing for anyone in a position to help with housing to contact Armagh I directly – where we will then put Chris or Bernard in touch.
Since meeting Chris just those few short days ago, Bernard – who has not drank since their meeting – says there has been a “total difference”.
He said: “If I had not gone with him, I could have gone to jail. Now, things are a whole lot easier on me. I still feel a bit awkward at times but it’s much better.”
The pair have enjoyed their instant rapport and appear as though they are old friends when in company together.
Chris – who is also supporting Bernard in accessing the appropriate medical help through the NHS – says they have been out “enjoying fresh air”, there are plans to go to football together and Chris adds, “that’s it now. He’s in with me and my mates and we will look after him.
“We will leave no stone un-turned to get him sorted.”
If you are in position to help Bernard with housing please contact Armagh I via email at info@armaghi.com.
You can also make a donation to Bernard’s GoFundMe page here.
If you are struggling with any of the issues outlined above please seek support through the organisations below:
Samaritans – available 24 hours a day to provide confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Inspire – provide counselling support to individuals aged 18+ impacted by their own substance use.
Simon Community – Northern Ireland’s leading homeless charity.
