The family of a Tandragee teenager who passed away unexpectedly five months ago are now channelling their grief and energies into helping others who are facing similar heartbreak.
Blake McCaughey, who had a rare genetic disorder, was only 18 years of age, and his passing left his family – mum and dad Christine and Andrew and sister, Pixie – utterly devastated.
Loved by all, Blake had such a positive outlook on life despite his difficulties. He was a huge ice-hockey fan – a season ticket holder for the Belfast Giants – and faithfully followed Liverpool FC, as well as being a member of Portadown True Blues Flute Band.
Nothing could ever prepare his family for the void left in their lives when Blake passed away in January.
But sister Pixie wanted to do something to celebrate her big brother’s life, and to help other families who are having to go through what they did, reminding them that they are not alone.
So was born Blake’s Lasting Legacy, a charity which has been providing memory boxes to allow other families to forever hold close those whom they have lost.
Christine and Andrew are beyond proud that 15-year-old Pixie, a pupil and newly-appointed prefect of Craigavon Integrated College, has decided to make a difference in such a tangible way.
Blake’s sister Pixie, who is making a difference through Blake’s Lasting Legacy.
And this Sunday, they will stage a fundraiser at Craigavon Lakes – a favourite of Blake’s – when they complete 18 miles to mark 18 years of a cherished son, brother and friend.
Mum Christine explained Pixie’s inspiration, as she told Armagh I : “She’s doing it because, as a sibling, she often felt growing up with Blake as her brother that sometimes the siblings are living in the shadow and don’t always get noticed and recognised and she just wanted to make a difference.
“She has also seen first-hand the care that her brother Blake needed, so she wanted just to make a difference for families, who are not only living with children who are medically complex, but also to those whenever it does come to the journey of grief and loss.
“The idea of the charity is that she goes into the hospitals and funeral directors, community nursing teams and provides memory boxes. Those memory boxes are then given out to the family when they know the child’s passing is imminent or when they have already happened and they’re just for them to make some lasting memories, like fingerprints, wee footprints, pictures, different wee things for the families. There would be some forget-me-not seeds, some hearts that have been knitted by Blake’s granny; one goes with the person to heaven and each family member then gets one to carry with them on their journey forever.
Blake McCaughey, who passed away in January.
“There’s even a candle inside that was designed by Pixie, and a lid, and it’s inscribed with ‘loved beyond the rainbow’. It’s quite bright and colourful, just to represent Blake’s life, because everything in that journey is obviously so dark at the time.
“Pixie also provides sibling packs to the brothers and sisters of the of the child that has passed. That contains accessory items, some memory making things for them as well, but also for them to know how important they are in the journey.”
The memory boxes and accessory packs have been gratefully received; they bring comfort and a real way of remembering those who have passed.
“They’ve gone down so well. We’ve actually distributed nine in the last month already,” said Christine.
“It’s not something you want to do, but at the same time, if we know that we’re making a very slight difference to a family in their time of need, that’s what it’s about.
“Definitely they’ve been well received and people have been very grateful for the opportunity to steal those last moments of memories; there’s even a wee see-through box for the person to put in a lock of hair of the child that they can then set up beside a photograph of them so they can always see a piece of them in their home.”
The charity is giving the family as a whole the strength to move forward, knowing that they are doing it in Blake’s name.
And the help that they have received – and the way in which everyone has offered their support – has been such a comfort to them in the weeks and months after the loss of their beautiful boy.
The memory boxes bringing comfort to others.
“It isn’t easy,” adds Christine. “Every day we just take one day at a time, but to be able to put our grief and navigate it into something more positive – because Blake had such a positive impact in our lives and the community – we just feel that we need to do something more for him.
“We do have great support around us and we’ve been well looked after, from the Trust right through. There have been services offered to ourselves. But it’s a very different world when you go from 18 years of 24/7 care to not.
“Certainly, for Pixie, the charity’s given her a nice focus, to drive it forward and try to be upbeat as much as you can and just to help navigate and help other families where you’ve seen the niche.”
Family, friends, work colleagues and community came together for the McCaugheys when they learned of Blake’s untimely loss, with the love and support received “absolutely amazing”.
Said Christine: “It was very unexpected for us. The whole community did rally round from the minute Blake passed; the house and the funeral and everything, you couldn’t put into words the support that we received and that hasn’t changed.
“The community has wrapped around and looked after us, from his band, to his hockey community, to family and friends, and everybody has stepped up and really made sure that we’re getting what we need and being able to cope, even right to Andrew’s work and everything. We’ve been very, very lucky.”
Flowers and tributes placed at Blake’s grave
Now the family’s attention turns to Craigavon Lakes this Sunday, June 14, with a sponsored walk the latest effort for Blake’s Lasting Legacy.
Leaving at 12noon, after a few songs and a speech by Pixie, walkers will depart from in front of South Lakes Leisure Centre.
In all, the walk will cover 18 miles – one for each precious year of Blake’s too-short life – and it is open to everyone to take part.
“We’re going to do six laps around the lakes, speak to people, celebrate, raise money and have it as bright and colourful and fun-filled as we can, because that’s what Blake was all about,” explained Christine.
“And we will just regroup with all those people that were so important in our journey and just talk about Blake and have other families as well there who are on similar journeys. We’ve already met a lot of other families here who are navigating grief and sometimes it’s just nice to regroup with those and get together for a purpose.
“Each lap will begin on the hour, so people can fall in, drop out at their leisure. You don’t have to do all six laps. It’s very much come and do a lap with us, enjoy talking about Blake and others and then leave again as you wish.
“It’s not always about grief, it’s about getting out and doing something.
“It’s to celebrate Blake’s life and about how proud we are of what he achieved in his time.”
Sponsor sheets are available from the family and donations can be made on a special GoFundMe page here, which people are encouraged to share with their own families and friends.
The fundraising walk will take place this Sunday.
