Today, people mark all kinds of anniversaries. It goes without saying that birthdays and weddings are among the most common, but there are an increasing number of people celebrating more unusual – but no less significant – milestones.
Among them, is 23-year-old Molly Hobson.
Just last week, Molly celebrated an often overlooked milestone, a “special birthday”; one that many are perhaps unaware that they too could celebrate. Together, with her family, they celebrated her adoption day.
While her story begins with her birth in Lampang, Thailand the life she knows and loves was built in Armagh.
November 13 marked a total of 22 years since Molly was welcomed into the loving arms of her adopted parents, Maggie Donnelly and Philip Hobson, at their Armagh city home.
The anniversary gave her pause, it was an opportunity to reflect on all she is grateful for – a chance to say thank you to the incredible people who made her their family.
Reflecting further, Molly spoke candidly with Armagh I, recounting all that she knows of her journey into adoption: “The only way I know anything about my biological parents is through information given from the children’s home I was brought to.
“They gave my adoptive parents a booklet with information and photos in it. This contained photos of me from the children’s home and also from time with my foster family – who I lived with briefly in Thailand to prepare me for being adopted.
“It also contained information on my birth parents such as their names, ages and the hospital I was in.
“All that was written in my file was that I was left in the hospital a few days after my biological mother had given birth. It had noted her age and place of birth etc. which is how I know that I was born in a hospital in Lampang – which is in northern Thailand.
“Social services had tried to find my biological parents but my father’s name was incorrect as well as the address given to the hospital for both my mother and father so they were unable to track them down. After a month or so I was brought to a children’s home in Chiang Mai where I stayed until I was one and a half years old.”
Molly understands that her biological mother was likely 17 years old at the time and unmarried. Without casting any blame, she believes that cultural influences may have left the young mother feeling she had no alternative but to place her baby in the care of the hospital.
At just one year and six months old, Molly began her new life with Maggie and Philip who she says “never kept it from her” and were open to discussing her adoption with her from a young age.
Now, living and working as a teacher of Home Economics and Health and Social Care in Worcester, Molly has a deep appreciation for the importance of “nurturing relationships” from the point of birth.
Speaking on the lack of a parental presence in this early stage, Molly said: “As a young child, it took me longer to learn phonics and literacy at school but with the right support this need was met and I do not have any problems with this today.
“Having this opportunity to have a good education, which I may not have had otherwise, helped my intellectual development.
“There is also a side to adoption that is hard to come to terms with. Being given up by my biological parents has left me with a sense of abandonment and in my experience it has taken me a long time to come to terms with this.
“I always wondered if I would somehow feel more ‘whole’ if I had been brought up by my biological parents.”
Understandably, questions lingered and continued to amass as she developed, learning more and more abut herself and her relationships with those around her.
Molly as a baby with her mum, Maggie at the foster home in Chiang Mai, Thailand
“I am not going to lie and say it was easy, because it was not always,” continued Molly. “One thing I would say is do research on the country or area that your adoptive child is coming from to connect them with their culture and family as they are growing up.
“I think the fact my parents were so open and so honest about my adoption, it made it easier for me to understand why I was different or why I felt so different to my family and wider community, as due to my distinctive differences it was hard not to feel different.
“I have recently started learning Thai in my free time to connect with my roots more as this is something I felt I was missing growing up.”
Her standpoint on the developmental impact of her adoption is something she, again, views objectively. Molly credits her family with playing a “huge role in my togetherness” and added: “I like to think that my biological parents loved me as much as they do, to have given me up, in the hope for a better life.”
She views adoption as an mutually beneficial family-building option that allows children “a life of opportunity and stability”. All she asks is for those outside looking in to view the biological parents with kindness.
Speaking to her own, unique and immensely happy life, Molly acknowledges the role of adoption: “In terms of being grateful for the life I have, adoption has played a huge role in who I am as a person.
“I am so thankful for the life I am living, being able to follow my dreams with a massive support network. I do believe that it has been for the better, in my instance, as I have been brought up in a family who loves me and in a community that has accepted me.
“I have a great support network and I am immensely appreciative of each and every one of them. I think it would be hard not to be grateful as it has shaped me into the woman I am.
“I think sometimes people don’t realise how lucky they are and I believe my appreciation stems from the imposter syndrome I sometimes feel. Mainly asking myself ‘How did I get so lucky?’”
Family, has a different meaning for Molly. It’s less about lineage and more about care and commitment.
“I believe that blood does not always equal family as this is the case for me,” said Molly. “Family is people who love, support and encourage you.
“In times I feel out of place, all I have to do is look to my family who have never made me feel any different to any of their blood relations and despite our lack of shared biology see me as their daughter, cousin, niece or grandchild.
“It is this sense of belonging that sums up what family means to me.”
