At a time of increased focus on the horror of domestic abuse there is an assumption that victims are stereotypically female however in truth males are suffering too, but with little by way of support or recognition.
There are regular reports of shocking figures of homicides and attacks on females however these do not reflect all domestic abuse instances as males are not included in the totals.
Academics are conducting research into domestic abuse figures around Northern Ireland’s apparent uniqueness and pointing to various potential causes including a post-conflict society, socio-environmental factors and the Covid pandemic.
However, these studies largely refer to female statistics; there is little research into male victims.
Domestic Violence Awareness Consultant Nuala Lappin said: “Domestic violence does not discriminate and nor should society. Anyone can be a victim and while the circumstances may differ the suffering and outworkings are exactly the same. In my experience men are less likely to report abuse which is troubling as they should not be suffering in silence. That is a major driver in domestic abuse – the silencing and control of victims.”
She continued, “It is vital any person – regardless of gender – is supported equally as a victim, to empower them to safely step away from toxic relationships. We know there is no stereotypical victim so there should be no stereotypical gender.”
Men’s Alliance NI (MANi) is a unique service, based on Facebook using a peer support model for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse.
Established in 2018 the group have found that social media is proving to be one of the most effective tools in reaching male victims of domestic violence in Northern Ireland, meaning men can avoid the stress or embarrassment of asking for help, calling a number or walking through an unfamiliar door.
At a time when men are often left without dedicated services such as refuges or tailored support, digital platforms are helping to bridge the gap and a community of 2000 men supporting men has been built in a private Group on Facebook, with over 400 active DAILY users.
In 2024–25, MANi online presence has grown rapidly, with thousands of men and supporters engaging with the charity’s Facebook and other social media pages.
This growth has provided a lifeline for many men who felt isolated, unheard, or even ashamed to seek help through traditional routes.
Many men have shared that they first came across Men’s Alliance NI through a simple post, meme, or awareness campaign online—an entry point that gave them the courage to join the private online MANi Support Group (www.MANi.Support) or to reach out by private message for support.
PSNI statistics show over 29,751 incidents of domestic abuse were reported last year and men make up more than a third of victims. Despite this, public services and societal narratives still largely frame domestic abuse as a women-only issue, leaving male victims marginalised.
Through social media MANi has:
· Broken down stigma with relatable, shareable posts that challenge stereotypes about male victims.
· Provided clear and immediate information on where men can go for support.
· Created safe online and real world spaces where men can connect with others facing similar challenges.
· Connected with men who have never disclosed their abuse, and now have help and advice available 24/7.
· Reached and engaged not just 2000 men who experienced domestic abuse but also friends, family members.
Chairman for MANi Carey Baxter said: “Social media has given men a voice where traditional services have failed. We receive messages every week from men who tell us, ‘I thought I was the only one—until I saw your post.’ That one click can be the first step in breaking free from abuse.”
The charity stresses that online outreach is not a 100 percent substitute for frontline services, but a vital complement and aid for connecting with men living in isolation, geographically or emotionally. With no male refuge currently available in Northern Ireland, and with limited tailored provision across statutory and voluntary services, Men’s Alliance NI believes digital engagement is an essential tool to keep men connected to information and support until proper service infrastructure is in place, and even then a resource that can be tapped into at their convenience.
MANi continues to call on government, statutory bodies, and wider society to recognise the role of social media as a proven and cost-effective means of reaching an otherwise hidden and isolated population of unknown victims. At the same time, the charity emphasises the urgent need for investment in offline, in-person services for male victims to access safely and without stigma.
For more information, please visit www.mensallianceni.co.uk or follow MANi on Facebook.
