Following the release of a new BBC documentary, one Waringstown mum who suffered a “rare but severe mental illness” after the birth of her daughter has been prompted to speak of the “urgent need” for a Mother and Baby unit in Northern Ireland.
Just two weeks after giving birth to her daughter Maisie on March 11, Holly Cairns developed postpartum psychosis.
The condition, she says, came on suddenly and catapulted her into an incredibly dark place.
Explaining her experience to Armagh I, she said: “I felt a dark and constant presence behind me, distorting my thoughts and trying to get into my head. It was terrifying. I felt as if I was constantly being watched, and had paranoia about something awful happening to my family members.
“I ended up with delusional thinking, feeling that I was just a surrogate for Maisie and she was actually meant to belong to some other family, and that was why I was so anxious and unwell – she wasn’t meant to be mine.”
After watching BBC’s ‘Mums in Crisis’, Holly felt compelled to share her experience to highlight the “urgent need” for a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU) in Northern Ireland, something she says “incredibly, still doesn’t exist”.
Continued Holly: “Because there is no MBU in Northern Ireland, I was separated from my baby for seven weeks while I received treatment on a general psychiatric ward.
“I was lucky to have daily visits and my family has been a strong support network. Maisie was brought in to see me, and I had people who showed up for me every day.
“But bringing a tiny baby onto a mixed psychiatric ward isn’t ideal. It’s noisy, unpredictable, and not set up for that kind of care.
“And I kept thinking… what happens to the women who don’t have anyone?
“I feel a lot of guilt about it, despite rationally knowing it wasn’t my fault that I developed this illness. I wouldn’t feel guilty if I’d broken a leg so why is this any different?
“I’m sort of viewing speaking up and advocating for this service as part of my recovery, turning something painful into a push for change.”
One thing Holly was keen to emphasise was the unparalleled care she received while on the Bluestone ward in Craigavon, despite “perinatal mental health not being their speciality”.
She said: “They all went above and beyond to look after me and facilitate visits with Maisie; I got to see her twice a day for two hours each time in the family room.
“I’ll forever appreciate the time and effort they’ve put in to helping me on the road to recovery.
“I’m also currently under the community perinatal team’s care, and so far they’ve been absolutely brilliant as well. I simply couldn’t recover without their help, guidance and support.”
That said, however, Holly does believe she would have recovered “far quicker” is access to an MBU was available here.
Across the rest of the UK, Holly says there are 22 specialist MBUs where mothers like her can receive “urgent psychiatric care” while remaining with their babies.
The fact that there is not a single MBU on the entire island of Ireland, she says, is an “embarrassment”.
Stressing the urgency for a unit of its kind, Holly said: “Postpartum psychosis can come out of nowhere and escalate quickly.
“Symptoms can include confusion, hallucinations, delusional thinking, extreme mood changes, anxiety, or paranoia. It’s a medical emergency, but so many people have never even heard of it.”
She urges the family and friends of those who have recently had babies to “check in” even on those who “look like they have got it together” – explaining that simply asking how someone is doing can “make all the difference”.
Holly does explain that there is some “hope on the horizon”, however.
She adds: “In 2023 a plan was announced to create Northern Ireland’s first MBU at Belfast City Hospital. But there’s still no confirmed funding or timeline, and women are still falling through the cracks.”
Stressing the need for change, Holly concludes: “Mums in Crisis tells stories like mine, and shows just how urgently we need this change. Please watch it, share it, and help raise awareness.
“No mother should be forced to choose between her recovery and her baby. We deserve better.”
While it’s been an incredibly difficult 12 weeks for Holly, the young mother is now in a much better place and of her beautiful daughter Maisie, she adds: “I’m looking forward to a lifetime of happiness with her!”
Armagh I have contacted Belfast Trust for an update on the proposals for a Mother and Baby Unit at Belfast City Hospital.
