When Lurgan woman Livia Jarzebska was battling through her high-risk pregnancy this year, she was told to “just let nature take its course”.
She endured months of hardship and stress, coupled by the uncertainty every day about her baby’s health and if he would recover.
Against all odds, however, on April 7, 2024, her baby boy, Lowyn McMahon was born at 27 weeks in Craigavon Area Hospital.
A premature baby is considered any baby delivered at fewer than 37 weeks.
Seven months on, Livia describes Lowyn as her “little miracle” and says she is proud to have fought for so long despite being told that he was unlikely to make it through.
Now, in a bid to raise awareness amid Prematurity Awareness month, Livia is keen to share her story and raise awareness around an issue she says just isn’t talked about.
Recounting that time in her life, she explained: “Lowyn was born at 27 weeks plus four days. During my pregnancy I experienced pelvic pressure pain very early on.
“During my antenatal appointments, I was getting my cervix measured and when I was roughly 21 weeks pregnant, my cervix measured at 2.6cms.
“My consultant at the time wanted to extend my appointments to monthly, instead of fortnightly, and we disagreed. I just knew there was something wrong and a week later, when I came back for a review, I was measuring at 0.9cms. I was funnelling at this stage as well, so I was admitted in Craigavon the same day for a cervical stitch.
“The next morning, before getting the stitch, I was checked by a different consultant, and I was down again to 0.6 cms. At this stage everybody thought I was in labour, and it was too late for the cervical stitch.
“Instead, I received an Arabin pessary. I was advised there was not enough research to suggest this would work and everyone thought I was in labour. Doctors weren’t keen to give me steroids because of the gestation of the baby at the time.
“I was given leaflets on the mortality rate of a baby born at this time and I was also given a choice to either comfort my son or to try and save his life. Obviously, no mother is prepared to hear those words, which haunt me to this day.”
On the same day, Livia was taken to the Royal Victoria Hospital where she spent nearly five weeks on bed rest. At 26 weeks, she started to contract.
“I just knew I was in labour. I was in so much pain,” she recalled. “The contractions started at 10 minutes and then seven minutes and the doctors thought it was a UTI or because I’d been lying in bed for so long.
“I just knew my own body. Then, at 27 weeks, I was transferred back to Craigavon because the neonatal unit there is able to take babies in from 27 weeks.
“I knew my waters were broken but the test kept coming back negative. On April 6, the waters fully raptured and I delivered naturally the following day. My birth experience was quite positive, and I got skin-to-skin with my son at 27 weeks, which is absolutely outstanding.”
Livia says her biggest piece of advice to women going through what she experienced is that if they think something’s wrong, to get it checked out.
“I felt I was overreacting at times because nobody listened to me. Everybody thought it was this or this and nobody takes you seriously.
“My advice is that if you feel something is wrong, go get it checked, no matter how small or little you might think it is because this could save your baby’s life.”
Lowyn McMahon was born in Craigavon Area Hospital at 27 weeks
Following birth, her son spent 92 days in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), which Livia says brought forward a vast range of emotions for her. Her advice? It’s OK to be angry.
“Usually when you give birth you take your baby home with you, and you start a new life. I went 92 days without my son being at home. He was in hospital, and we had to watch him through an incubator.
“I was afraid to touch him, and I struggled with that for a couple of weeks. I was angry at myself; I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job. I felt so helpless that I gave birth to my son, and I couldn’t even look after him. That’s when the nurses came in and said I was a good mother, and it was OK to feel like that.
“I was so worried I didn’t know whether I was coming or going sometimes because of all the anxieties. I was living in fight or flight mode but now it’s seven months. Milestone-wise it’s four months but he’s thriving. He’s doing everything he should be doing, and I think back to this woman that was panicking and it’s unbelievable.”
Livia says she wants mothers to know that their emotions and experiences are all valid and nothing to be ashamed of.
She said: “It is a traumatic experience to watch doctors facilitate your son and being unable to help. You have to sit and watch, and you will grieve everything you have lost and not experienced.
“I gave birth, and I had to leave my baby in the hospital and then I had to go home on my own, so you do have mixed emotions.
“You can be grateful that you have a child, that is alive and showing progress and at the same time you can still feel the grief and anger over the fact that this wasn’t the way you wanted it to be.”
She added: “Some days are more gratitude than grief, or there’s days the grief can seem to drown the gratitude, but I just wanted to raise awareness that your experience and emotions are valid and meaningful.
“I want to honour the babies who show us how to fight and teach us that small victories really are the big victories and proof that miracles do exist. My son is living proof of that.”
Looking back, Livia says she felt there was a lack of optimism or sensitivity around her situation.
“I think the healthcare system can be a bit harsh. I was getting leaflets handed to be about the mortality rate, and being told my baby could die and the approach they took was very hopeless, and that still haunts me.
“The way we were spoken to in the hospital was like he was never going to make it. We were told to let nature take its course and there were so many questions they couldn’t answer.”
While Livia felt like they almost “didn’t care” at the time, she says, “time has proved that miracles do in fact happen”.
With November being Prematurity Awareness Month, Livia is keen to raise more awareness around the issue, and the organisations that exist to help mothers make it through.
On November 21, she celebrated with TinyLife in Seagoe Parish Centre in Portadown, a charity that offers support to families of premature babies.
She explained: “This is a charity that helped me so much, providing me with emotional and practical support from the day and hour my son was born.
“Me and my partner have completed a baby massage course with them just last week and that has helped us actually bond with our son.
“I’m still a wee bit anxious bringing people to my home because of what has happened and all this trauma around that and TinyLife has helped me.”
She added: “It’s all very traumatic, so it’s very important that you do speak to people and get involved with groups like TinyLife, because having someone there that understands that experience helps a lot.
“My main advice is that if you feel something is wrong, get it checked. There will be loads of different emotions but having a premature baby isn’t the end of the world. You’re showing how strong you are as parents.
“I’m seven months postpartum, but my son’s been home four months, and I’m only starting to really feel better. Now I’m more confident in leaving my house and doing things with my son and feeling like I actually haven’t missed out.
“To think that my son was born so early and today he’s a healthy, thriving boy, it’s crazy. He’s beat all odds and all those things people were saying and here he is.
“I’m so proud to show him off that he’s here and you couldn’t even tell he is premature. Throughout the whole journey I have fought my corner.”
