A man who was deceived by a fraudster into giving more than £200,000 in a romance scam has shared his ordeal to raise awareness of this type of fraud and help prevent others from losing money in this way.
The man, who is not being named to protect his identity, says what happened to him “almost destroyed my life”.
“This entire experience has had a devastating impact on my whole life, both financially and emotionally. I felt ashamed that I had let myself fall victim to this fraud,” he explained.
In this case, the fraud was committed over a two-year period between 2020 and 2022. Having met online on a dating site, the man came to believe he was in a genuine relationship with a woman he trusted.
After intense contact, initially via the dating app, their communication moved off-app, through private messaging.
The man began to receive requests for money for a variety of scenarios.
For example, on one occasion the woman told him that she had a very wealthy grandmother and that she needed to borrow thousands of pounds for legal fees relating to her will.
When the man was reluctant to send the money, the woman applied pressure to make him comply. On another occasion, she told the man that she had been in a car crash, and again needed money from him to help pay her medical bills.
They spoke on the phone a few times, but he never met the person face-to-face and was given different excuses each time as to why not.
At one point the woman sent him a link to what police believe to be a fake online banking webpage in order to prove she had money to repay him.
“I have always had the attitude if I can help people I will but, unfortunately, in this instance I was taken advantage of,” he says.
The result was the man lost everything he had – more than £200,000 – and he found himself under severe strain and in debt. It was at this point he called police for help.
“The people behind this fraud … almost destroyed my life,” he said.
Fortunately, in this case, thanks to subsequent enquiries and the man’s bank, the money was recovered in its entirety.
‘Cruel deception’
Ahead of Valentine’s Day, the PSNI is highlighting this type of fraud and urge people to be aware of the signs of romance fraud.
“Many people use social media and dating sites to find love and meet new people and, while in many cases, situations are safe and legitimate, there are, unfortunately, criminals who take advantage of this and go to great lengths to build a fake relationship. Their sole aim is stealing people’s money,” says Chair of ScamwiseNI Partnership, Superintendent Joanne Gibson.
Figures show between 1st January and 31st December 2024, there were 127 romance scams reported to The Police Service with a total reported loss of £1,083,007*. Individual reported losses ranged from hundreds of pounds to more than £100,000.
“Fraudsters seek to build a relationship of trust quickly before requesting money. Initially, they’ll appear charming and come across as being really interested in you, but they’ll have multiple excuses for not being able to meet face-to-face. They’ll hint at financial troubles and starting asking for money to help them sort out their problems by playing on their emotions. For example, pay for medical or legal bills, help a family member or to help pay for travel, or some sort of investment opportunity. They’ll promise to repay the money but, have no intention of doing so,” says Superintendent Gibson.
“For some people who believe they’ve found a genuine, meaningful relationship, the stark reality is they’ve been emotionally and financially drained. Even if any money lost is recovered, the person is still left to cope with the emotional impact and distress. It’s devastating and is such a cruel form of deception.”
Superintendent Gibson says it’s important people are aware of how to keep themselves and their money safe from scammers who can strike at any time of the year.
“Fraudsters don’t care about gender, sexuality, age or race. They target everyone,” added Superintendent Gibson, adding: “This is a despicable type of crime which, we believe, is under reported because people feel embarrassed. We hope by raising awareness of this type of fraud, people will know the signs to look out for and feel empowered to stop fraudsters taking their money. We also encourage anyone who has lost money in this type of fraud to report it. Do not feel ashamed – you are not at fault. You are not alone – help and support is available.”
Stay safe online
Stay on the app – Always keep communication on the dating website or app you’re using. Many have inbuilt security and assistance. They also take steps to remove and ban fake accounts so you’re safer there. Fraudsters will also try to get you to chat or text away from the dating site or app you first met them on. This allows them to keep in contact if their profile is deleted for being fake.
Check their socials – Carry out your own research on the person, checking their social media presence to see if it matches what’s on the dating site. Looking at key details such as name, location and family members can help identify inconsistencies in what you have been told.
Check their photo – Profile pictures can be deceiving and be taken from anywhere on the internet. You can use various websites to check photos using a reverse image search to prove if the photo is valid.
If you’re looking for friendship, companionship or love online it should never start with being asked for money and, if it does, it’s not a friend or relationship worth having.
For further advice and information visit www.nidirect.gov.uk/scamwiseni or the ScamwiseNI Facebook page @scamwiseni You can also call Action Fraud via www.actionfraud.police.uk or call 0300 123 2040 or police on the non-emergency number 101 or make a report online via https://www.psni.police.uk/report
If you have lost money in this way, report it to your bank immediately.
